Sunday, October 15, 2006

Iggy in the Mid-East (Notable Quotes)

Taken from future imaginary newspapers:

"Yo buddy, what's with the stupid little cap? Do those things screw onto your head? Bah hah hah!"

"Doesn't anyone bathe around here? And what's with the men in dresses?"

"You know the best thing about this place? No damn Ukranians."

"Not a chance!... Ahmed, Ahmad. With the beards, how can anyone tell them apart?"

"You mean the Gaza Strip isn't a shopping mall?

"See this newspaper? It's written in Heebish. I speak Heebish, and 25 other languages, just as good as Heebish."

"Is anyone else hot? Nobody told me it was gonna be this hot."

"Don't point that thing at me, towel-head! I'm gonna be President of Canada!"

"D'you know these guys had a war when I was on holiday? You knew that? Why doesn't anyone tell me this stuff?"

"This whole fucking place is just a bunch of dirt! Why would anyone fight over a bunch of fucking dirt? What? It's holy dirt? So the fuck what? How Pre-Post-modern!"

"Hey! Now the shots are coming from both sides!"

Iggy's trip is cut short when he is disappeared by Israeli security forces, who give him a thorough demonstration of their new electrical nut-cruncher. Apparently, after twenty minutes, Iggy confesses to being the man behind 9/11, and is sent to a secret prison in Kazakistan. See how well torture works?

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